When I felt called to this renewal leave, there were a bunch of things I wanted to do. As it took shape, I was preparing for surgery and rest rather than projects and spiritual care. In the weeks leading up to my leave, I got word that my hysterectomy was going to be postponed. (Wow, God, I get it!) This providential moment was grace filled as I shifted gears in my thinking!
I was able to arrange for a very last-minute trip to my seminary, Methodist Theological School in Ohio. Due to COVID care, I didn’t sit in on a class. I was able to, however, visit the campus, and relive some of the most sacred moments from my time there. I was there for 3 years; graduating in 2007. I planned the trip with nothing on the agenda other than reconnecting with some special people in my life and remembering some of the holy moments from my early days of ministry. At the outdoor chapel, for example, I sat there remembering the last visit – 2007, graduation day with my grandma Bonnie.
One of my favorite seminary memories was my frequent visits to the labyrinth. The campus sits on a major highway, and the road can be seen from the labyrinth. The journey of walking the labyrinth is one of my all time favorites. The turns, the length, the journey in and out reminded me every step of the way of faith and ministry life. Frequently, during school, I would walk it, and the sounds of life around me would disappear.
On this visit, the experience was the same. I was able to walk, pause, pray and breathe as the sounds around me dissipated. I heard the sounds of my breath and the spirit bringing to life once again this call and love for faith! As I journeyed this time, I repeated the phrase, “Peace, be still.” These words are from my favorite Bible passage about Jesus calming the storm. “Peace, be still” are words that bring peace with a forcefulness that only Jesus can provide. On this journey, I remember getting excited as I came closer to the center, only to be filled with frustration as I walked away from it.
Our dear friend, Ricky, joined me on this visit. We walked the labyrinth together. As we met up in the center, we paused to give thanks for the Holy journey of our faith lives, and ask for God’s guidance as we continue on the path of life. What Ill never forget from this visit was the words that guided my path back out: “Hallelujah, hallelujah, your love makes me sing…” These lyrics are from this song – “Your Love Makes Me Sing.” This grace filled experience was a moment of resurrection – that I’m still trying to process and celebrate!
I couldn’t go back to Ohio without a visit to “New Life.” As a student, I served for 2 years at New Life UMC – in downtown Columbus Ohio. These formative years shaped not only the start of my ministry but also the beginnings of my relationship with my spouse. Mike and I met in December of 2005, and our first “date” of sorts was with the Christmas program at the church! I’ll do a follow up blog post about New Life soon – too many memories to capture in one story. I was thankful though to spend time with Jennifer and Brooke on this visit, two of the leaders who shaped so much of my early ministry life. Brooke stood up with me in our wedding. Jennifer did our wedding and was my sponsoring elder at my ordination.
Clergy, church leaders and friends, if you feel like you need a time of renewal – take it. I haven’t been this rested in my faith and church life in years. COVID multiplied any extra stress and worry that I was carrying. “Are my people safe?” “Did I give someone COVID?” “Why aren’t people caring enough to wear a mask?” “I miss singing too!” “I’m sorry we can’t have that funeral in the sanctuary.” “I can’t visit you in the hospital.” “Are you vaccinated?” “Can I help with food? Money? Get you to a vaccination appointment?” For the last few short weeks, I’ve been able to pause, breathe and care – care for myself and my leaders. Take this time, you’ve earned it.
Facing the Storm with Faith 